


The Difference Between Need And Want

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-07
Updated: 2006-05-07
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:41:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8077981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Missing scene, 2.25 "Bounty."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: This one is for Dee, Mana, and Monica, for encouragement and inspiration. Thanks ladies, you are the best! This is also in response to the Archer's/Endeavors' Pon Farr Challenge. Oh what fun...snirk  
  
After reviewing Webster's dictionary, this is the breakdown of the definitions. Need, requisite, necessary, something one must have to survive. Want implies a choice, a desire, a need. Often interchangeable, but not necessarily the same. Want to hear the music that inspired the title and the definition search, as well as the concept for the story? Check out Matchbox 20's "The Difference": "For all you know, this could be, the difference between what you need and what you want..."  


* * *

Jonathan sat on his bed thinking over the events of the last few days. Physically he was okay, but mentally, well he was pissed. He barely noticed the time he sat there as his thoughts were filled to overflowing. First those damn Telerites kidnap him to take him back to the Klingons, and then he finds out T'Pol was infected with a virus. _It figures_ , he thought, _she would go into heat when I'm not around to do anything about it_. He kept trying to see it from an objective point of view. After all there had been times when he had been so damn horny that any port in a storm would do. In fact in his younger years, he remembered waking up in those ports and wondering what the hell he had done. Now a days, though, Mr. Happy and Mr. Hand saw the most action, and _why the hell couldn't T'Pol have resorted to such measures?_

He stood abruptly and paced around the room. Phlox had informed him of part of the situation the minute he had boarded. He had overheard Reed and Tucker in the messhall and that had given him more information. He had confronted Phlox and the doctor had reluctantly filled him in on what he could ethically, with a recommendation to speak to T'Pol. A shudder of pure frustration shimmied down his spine as he remembered Reed's words. In his mind's eye he could see T'Pol running rampant down the halls in only her underwear. He swallowed. _Damn, I don't need those images._ It didn't matter how many times he chastised himself, those images kept popping into his head. _All that lovely skin and muscle and...down boy!_ _You're supposed be mad after all_. Phlox assured him that between him and Reed they had managed to get her contained and sedated back in decon while he tried to find a cure. Not that she hadn't tried. The very thought of her rubbing herself against Phlox and Reed and heavens knew how many others, turned his stomach. _She's my first officer after all. If she was going to rub against someone it should have been me._

"Dammit!" Jonathan slammed his fist against the wall. _She is mine...mine!_ He pulled himself up short. _Where in the hell had that come from? When have I gotten so damn possessive and at what point did I stop seeing her as my first officer and a Vulcan, and started seeing her as a woman?_ With another grunt of frustration, he rested his hands against the door of his quarters and began lightly bouncing his head on the door. _That was a stupid question, and while not always the brightest star in the sky, I've never been a stupid man_.

With a sudden surge of movement, he pushed himself away from the door. The movement startled Porthos, who had been watching him pace. The pup whimpered in sympathy. "Sorry boy," he muttered as he attempted to stretch the kinks out of his neck. With another sigh, he grabbed a towel and headed for the gym. _Perhaps a work out will exorcise my demons._

He never made it to the gym. With a brief insight he knew it hadn't been meant to be. It had merely been an excuse to get him out of his quarters and down the hall. Now he was paused outside her door, waiting, indecision his staunchest companion.

Jonathan rang the chime with unsteady hands. _Dammit man, get it together_. As the door opened he started, having expected her to call him in rather than answer the door. Now he wished he had that few extra seconds. His eyes flew over her. She was wearing her silky green pajamas, and her eyes looked so sad and so tired. For an instant, the urge to hug her hit him full force. He barely held it back. "Uh, hi." _Smooth move, Jon. Maybe you could step it up with a schoolboy stutter._

Her smooth face didn't even change expression. "Captain?"

"We need, er, I wanted to talk to you. May I come in?" If it wouldn't have made the situation worse, he would've smacked himself in the head.

Again, her expression didn't change. "I am very tired, Captain. Perhaps another time?"

He started to nod and then realization hit him. _How could I be so stupid? I know all her nuances and expressions. The very lack of them should be a clue. She's hiding from me. Confidence came back full force, along with his earlier frustration_. "Actually, no T'Pol, it can't wait. I really need to talk to you." Something in her eyes flickered for just a moment and Jonathan could have sworn it was irritation. _Good, my instincts are right about thisâ€¦ I hope_.

T'Pol stepped back and motioned him in. Walking to her meditation candles, she carefully blew them out. The act itself was not important, so much as the need to strengthen her composure. It had been nearly seven hours since Phlox had released her from decon and sickbay. During that time the Captain had been returned to the ship and she had meditated. The initial memory loss from her Pon Farr had faded, and as she had meditated, her actions had returned to her with the force of a sledgehammer. Despite what she had told Phlox, she was not completely back to normal. Her emotions were still erratic and a residual of the need was still clamoring inside her. She had no doubt that the treatment he had provided was working. With each hour that passed, she felt herself returning to normal, but she was still weak and still vulnerable. _Especially to Jonathan_. She shook her head to clear it of that thought. Embarrassment surged to the fore, and she pushed it back resolutely. _The Pon Farr is not a time of logic or control. There is nothing else you could have done!_ The thought was of little comfort for her and she finally understood why her people refused to discuss it. _He wants an explanation for you behavior. Phlox must have told him, would have been required to tell him because of the security risk I posed to the ship and the crew_. Guilt and disgust gnawed at her insides and for a moment she thought she was going to vomit. Some small part of her hoped it wasn't true, that he wasn't coming to confront her about the Pon Farr, but as she turned and met the barely concealed frustration in his eyes, she knew otherwise. She pulled her emotions around her like a cloak. "What did you need to speak with me about, Captain?"

_Captain? Captain? Who the hell does she think she's talking to? Calm down Jon, it's just another way of trying to distance herself. Besides, she always calls you Captain, despite your desire to have her do otherwise._ He watched her for a long moment and debated leaving. _What if these emotions were all one sided? It wasn't like she could help what happened to her?_ _Do I really want to hash this all out, drag it into the open and force us both to face it? No, and yes. She hurt me, dammit, and somewhere along the line I've lost the ability to maintain my objectivity. Somewhere I've managed to blur the lines and feel I have the right to say something. Somehow she's become mine._ He took a deep breath. "I've had a chance to go over some reports and I've heard a few things that concern me." _Concern me hell, they piss me off._ "I also spoke with Phlox, trying to clear some of this up, and frankly he told me to speak to you." _Doctor/patient confidentiality my ass_.

Her eyes skittered from his and lit on the door behind him. _Maybe if I don't look at him I can pull this off._ "I'm afraid I've been ill and haven't caught up on everything. Perhaps if you filled me in?" _Please, please, just go away and let it be._

The fact that she refused to meet his eyes really set him off. Stalking up to her, he grasped her shoulders, shaking her slightly. "Dammit, look at me when I'm talking to you. Be that honest with me at least!"

"Honest?" She jerked back from his grip but was surprised that he didn't let go. Her eyes locked with his briefly, then skittered away again. "Captain, please? What do you want from me?" She knew what he wanted. She could feel it transmitted through his touch. _Vulnerable, too vulnerable, especially to this man._ Her emotions flared to the front and she brought up her arms quickly, bringing then between and down upon his arms, breaking contact. Head shaking in the negative, she began backing up. "Don't touch me. Don't you dare touch me. I can't stand to have you touch me now."

This was her honesty and it scared the hell out of him. He watched her for a long moment, watched as she curled her arms around herself and hunched in a defensive stance. Shudders wracked her entire body, and he could have sworn there were tears in her eyes. Confusion nipped at him, but he pushed it away and focused on her last words. "Why now, T'Pol? Why can't you stand to have me touch you now? It has never bothered you before." It was on the tip of his tongue to apologize, but instinctively he knew it would throw them back to square one.

A combination of anger and fear washed over her and she was unable to keep it from her voice and her eyes. _What is the point? He already knowsâ€¦ and I need him to know the rest._ Her eyes locked on his, blazing with emotions he'd never seen from her before. "You have no right to touch me. I gave it to you, would have given it to you, but when I needed you, you weren't here. How could you leave me when I needed you most?"

He stepped back from the force of emotion flowing off of her. "What?"

"Stop dancing around it. I can't do it right now. I'm not strong enough. The Pon Farr is still with me, I haven't regained all of my control." A sob broke through her words and forced her to stop. "Please, just go away. Come back tomorrow or the next day. I should be more myself then. I can'tâ€¦"

The urge to gather her close was too much for him and he risked another emotional display by giving into it. His arms closed around her and he pulled her close. "The Pon Farr? That is your mating urge?"

Her first thought was to pull away from him, to run and hide. His emotions were close to the surface and while the anger was there it was no longer at the forefront. His concern and respect for her were. It left a bitter taste in her mouth, but she was unable to resist. Dropping her head to his chest, she nuzzled her cheek against him. Her arms were trapped between them, hugged to her chest. "Yes. The Pon Farrâ€¦ While we were on the planet, the doctor and I were exposed to a pathogen. It triggered my Pon Farr. The doctor was able to treat me but I'm still feeling the side-effects." The breath caught in her throat, so she breathed through her nose. The smell of him was intoxicating and she burrowed closer, nearly smiling as his heartbeat increased. "It was too soon. I knew it was and yet this need was boiling up inside me and I couldn't do anything to stop itâ€¦"

In that instant his anger disappeared. He understood just from her tone how miserable she had been, how hard this had been on her. _What would I have done if something had triggered a biological need in me? What if it had taken away all my choices? Choicesâ€¦_ "There was no control? No time to plan things out? It was just there?"

She shivered against him. "At first I wasn't sure what it was. Then there was this need, this hunger. I've never felt anything like it. It was overwhelming. I tried to get the doctor to release me. I wanted to help find youâ€¦" She pushed away from him suddenly, anger flaring to life inside her. "I wanted you Jonathan Archer! I trusted you! You weren't here!" In a fit of temper she struck out, her fists landing in the center of his chest.

He stumbled back in surprise, his hands coming up to automatically protect himself. She had knocked the breath from him. _Strong, so damn strong_. Of course he knew that Vulcans had a superior strength to humans, but he had never applied that to T'Pol. He knew she was strong, but she didn't look it. In fact, at the moment, she was beautiful and fragile looking. As she stalked toward him, he took a step back, his words defensive. "I didn't ask to be kidnapped." If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead in that instant. If she weren't acting so out of character, he would have found these glimpses of emotion fascinating. He brought up his hands defensively as she growled. "Dammit woman, calm down!"

T'Pol froze in place at his words. _Too little control. I must regain control_. Her shoulders dropped in defeat and she sagged to the floor, curling into and around herself. Her arms wrapped tightly around her knees and her head dropped to them. "Please Captain, leave me alone. It is too much, too soon. I can'tâ€¦ I need to heal." _Please go away before I say too much_.

He knelt in front of her, careful this time not to touch her. He could see she was strung out from all of it. "I can't leave you like this T'Pol. Perhaps we should go to sickbay and see Phlox?"

She looked up at him and he shuddered at the silent tears that were slipping down her cheeks. "I don't want to see Phlox. His treatment has done all it can do."

"Surely there is something I can do?"

"Don't you understand? I need time. Just a little time and I'll be myself again and past all this. I don't want to remember it or think about it. I'm so embarrassed."

His heart twisted as another sob was torn from her. Knowing he was asking for trouble, he sat next to her and drew her onto his lap. She offered only token resistance and then curled bonelessly into his arms. He held her close, humming tunelessly under his breath, as she cried. Her tears ripped holes in him as did her sobs. Never had he seen her so torn. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. It was a natural process."

Her nails dug into his chest. The husky, tear filled voice was barely audible. "I threw myself at the doctor, and Tucker, andâ€¦ Reed. It was horrible, the need, the craving. I couldn't stop it andâ€¦ no one wanted me." She looked up at him and he was struck by a sudden urge to kiss her tear-streaked eyes. Her next words caught him off guard. "You wouldn't have wanted me either. Would you? I'm a Vulcan after all. That's all you ever see." Her eyes closed and her head dropped until her chin was touching her chest.

The words struck something inside him. He knew he had seen her as a woman for sometime, but it was true that most of the crew couldn't see past the capable Vulcan officer. _She probably scared the piss out of all of them_. Sliding a hand around, he cupped her chin and lifted her face so he could see her eyes. _Such beautiful eyes_ â€¦ "I have a hard time not seeing you as a woman. I have for a long time. I've wanted you for a long timeâ€¦" _Too long._

Her breath caught. "You are not just trying to make me feel better?"

He smiled. "No, but I don't know that I would have been able to act on it even if I had been here. I don't like that you had no choices and I wouldn't have wanted to take advantage of youâ€¦ I still don'tâ€¦"

He stopped as her fingers covered his mouth. "You still don't understand do you?" At his confused look she continued. "The timing was wrong. I wasn't supposed to have entered my Pon Farr for another couple of years. I had a choice and I made it a year ago." Her hands slid around his neck and she burrowed under his chin. A soft sigh escaped her as his arms wrapped around her and drew her closer. "I knew when you asked me to stay on Enterprise that my destiny was leading me elsewhere. I think I had always known I was destined for something more. I just didn't know what. I know it isn't logical but it existed. When the opportunity presented itself, I jumped at the chance to break my betrothal." She lifted her head and her hands cupped his cheeks. "Even then, even though you didn't know me or trust me, you were my choice. I just didn't know it."

_Me? How is that possible? All this time_ â€¦ "How can you say that? You said yourself that you are still feeling the effects from the Pon Farr. I don't know what to believe here."

Eyes dropping once more, T'Pol began to shiver. _Too muchâ€¦ I've told him too much and he doesn't feel the same_. "You are right Captain. I amâ€¦ off because of the Pon Farr. I apologize for making you uncomfortable." She started to crawl off his lap but he stopped her, pulling her closer.

"Oh no. Too much has been said here and I think we are dancing again. "You are vulnerable now, and I won't take advantage of that. We will talk more when you are more yourself, when your choices are not so limited and influenced."

Fists balled into the material of his shirt as T'Pol growled yet again. "The choice is made. It has always been made. Even when the need was upon me, so strong and horrible that I was like an animal in heat, the choice was you. Just because my emotions will be more controlled does not mean I do not experience them. I have a bond with you Jonathan Archer, one that has been formed through time and respect and friendship. It will always be, even when the Pon Farr strikes again. The choice will always be you." She shook him slightly to make her point. Her eyes locked on his, desperate for understanding. "I needed to mate or die, I wanted you." Her breath hitched on a sob and released. "I always will."

_I needed youâ€¦ I wanted youâ€¦ you weren't here_! Realization slammed into his brain. All this time she had been telling him in her own way that she cared for him every bit as much as he did her, and yet he'd refused to believe it, forced her to spell it out, admit to an emotion she wouldn't normally acknowledge. His hands curved around her biceps, holding her in place. _I have to knowâ€¦ I have to hear the words, just this once._ "Is it love, T'Pol?"

Her eyes closed briefly. "You dense manâ€¦ what else could it possibly be? Why else would I isolate myself from my people? Why else would I stand by you, challenge you, encourage you?" The sadness had left her eyes, resolution now shining in their depths. "I love you as much as it is possible for my kind."

"I love you too, Sweetheart. I was so angry when I heard what you had gone through, what you had done, and yet I didn't feel I had the right. I wished so much that I had been here for you. I never want you to have to go through that again."

A soft smile crossed her lips and she stroked her fingers along his cheeks. "Then bond with me completely, Ashal-veh. Become my life mate and through our bond, even when we are apart, I will know that we are a part of each other. Should the next Pon Farr strike and we are apart, I will have more strength to fight it, to wait, until you are with me again."

"Will that truly work?"

She tipped her head to the side. "Bonded couples can sometimes meditate to control the effects of Pon Farr if they do not have access to their mates. It is not always successful, but it helps." Her eyes dropped from his again. "There are other things you should know before you agree to anything."

He kissed the top of her head. "What?"

"Vulcans mate for life. When we bond we share our hearts and souls. We may even hear each others' thoughts." She peeked up at him, searching his face. "I do not know if it is possible to form that total bond with a human, but I suspect it is. There have been times when I've known you Jonathan. I've known your thoughts and how you feel. It is something that we can block on occasion, but if the bond forms completely, we will share each others thoughts and desires."

The thought of her in his mind frightened him somewhat. As he thought about it, he allowed his eyes to trace the lines of her face. He could tell by her expression that she could sense his fear. _What are you afraid of? It's not like you're going to love her any less. She's an open book right now. Can you be any less?_ "I want to be a part of your life in any way I can. I don't know how we will deal with this in terms of our work, but I want you too T'Pol. I want to be the one you turn to whenever you have a problem. I need you."

Her eyes closed once more and a deep sigh was released. When her eyes opened again, she locked them once more on his. Her hands slid into his hair and she drew him down until her breath traced his lips. "Complete the bond with me."

He closed the distance easily, capturing her mouth in the sweetest of kisses, his mind screaming _yes_.

T'Pol curled into him, amazed at the depth of feeling this man drew from her. Though the effects of the Pon Farr were still part of her, she was certain of her choice. Her fingers twisted in his hair as he pulled away. She started to speak, but he shook his head. Standing, her pulled her to her feet and guided her to the bed. Her heart was pounding. _Yes, complete the bond. Finally!_

He drew her down to it and curled an arm around her. She was confused at first as he guided her head to his chest, but the steady beat of his heart calmed her. The gentle words were her greatest assurance. "Sleep with me tonight and in the morning we will talk again. I love you and I want you to come to me without any reservations and doubt. I want you for who you are and while I love the person you've become, I prefer to wait until you are less vulnerable before I make love to you." He grinned as she arched a brow, and stretched to kiss it before laying back down. "Never fear my love, I fully intend to make love to you soon. I want you too much not to."

T'Pol snuggled against him. Already she could feel the acceptance and love rolling off him. It was true and solid. _Jonathan is an honorable man. We will be fine._

_Yes, Sweetheart, we will._ Such a simple thing, communicating without words; Jonathan smiled at the wonder of it, a smile that carried into their dreams.

Hands, warm and soft, flowing over the muscles of his chest, the feeling was so pleasant and so unusual that it snapped him awake instantly. His own came up to catch those caressing him and he turned his head to look at the woman lying beside him. Reaching up, he stroked her cheek. _So beautiful..._ "T'Pol? What are you doing?"

Eyes, dark with sleep and desire, gazed up at him. "I wanted to touch you. Is that...acceptable?"

The smile that formed at the innocence of her question was gentle and supportive. "Yes. It's okay with me if you want to touch me." He turned on his side and curled her into him. "As long as I get to return the favor." His hands slid under her top and stroked the silky skin of her back. "I thought Vulcans didn't care to be touched?"

"Vulcans are touch telepaths. Contact with someone we are not bonded to can be...uncomfortable."

His hands skimmed low, fingers tracing and dipping beneath the edge of her pajama bottoms. "Has my touch ever made you uncomfortable?" It was said with a teasing edge and yet serious at the same time. Her skin was hot to the touch, smooth as silk, and he itched to explore it.

T'Pol crinkled her brow. "Your touch has always had some type of effect on me. While not comfortable, it has never been unpleasant." She shivered as he skimmed lower, stroking the swell of her bottom.

"I'm glad. I never want to harm you in any way. I want my touch to be soothing, calming, passionate, electrifying, but never something you don't want." He leaned in, his lips brushing her cheek. "I want to touch all of you."

The husky whisper of his voice and the firm strokes of his hands were causing a reaction all their own. Her eyes drifted closed as his lips skimmed over her. Nuzzling her neck, he nipped gently at the muscle where her throat and collarbone met. She shivered again, a fire similar to the Pon Farr building inside her. Moving restlessly against him, she arched into him, a soft "please" her response.

Jonathan had hoped to keep the lid on his desire until he felt more certain that she was coming to him because she truly wanted him and not because he was convenient. Despite all they had talked about, T'Pol showing her emotions was unnerving. He didn't want her vulnerability to push them somewhere they weren't meant to be. However, with her hot, lithe body pressed to his such thoughts were easily pushed aside. Lips that begged to be kissed called to him and he answered the only way he could. His mouth meshed with hers, tongue probing the seam of her lips. A gentle thought of _open to me Sweetheart,_ was sent without conscious effort and then she was opening to him and the taste of her exploded on his tongue. Sweeping her mouth, he teased her palate and tongue, slipping beneath it, exploring all of her before sucking it into his own mouth, encouraging her to do the same.

Panting, T'Pol drew back. As he looked at her, confused, she explained. "Too much...Your thoughts and emotions, combined with your hands and your kiss..." she paused, her eyes focused hungrily on his mouth, "it's too much. Sensory overload."

His hands stilled on the cheeks of her bottom, where they had drifted during the kiss. Their positions had shifted as well. T'Pol was now flush against him, one leg draped over his, his arousal pressing tightly to the place it most wanted to be. He nearly groaned at the thought as he tried to regain control. He took several deep breaths. "And this is bad?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm just not used to...Is it always like this?"

Brow crinkling in confusion, he wasn't sure what she was asking. "What?"

"Making love. Is it always like this?"

"With you? I hope so."

"Then this is your first time also?"

_First time? Was she serious?_ The look in her eyes told him she was, and Jonathan was stunned. How could he possibly answer her? Truthfully _._ "No. I have had intimate encounters before, but nothing like this T'Pol. You make me feel things I can't begin to explain." He nestled her closer, comfortable with his control once more. "How is it you have never...?"

Her gaze shifted from his own to the pulse point in his neck. This was unfamiliar territory for her. She wasn't sure how to answer him. "Vulcans are generally bonded at a young age. Our parents choose our mates for us. Some ceremonies are simple and easily broken, more like a contract than an actual bond. Others are more in depth, encouraging a mental bond between betrothed. These bonds are harder to break. I had the former. My bond with Koss was a contract between our families. I had little contact with my betrothed. A mate is chosen so that our Pon Farr will occur at similar times, the need of one often triggering the need or cycle in the other as the time for mating draws near. I was betrothed to Koss until a year ago when I broke our agreement. This was my first Pon Farr, and it was not the right time. If it had not been triggered by the pathogen, the doctor would not have been able to cure me."

"When were you supposed to enter Pon Farr?"

"Not for a couple more years. That is why I accepted the post aboard Enterprise."

"So, if everything progresses normally, you will go through your Pon Farr in about two years?"

"If the pathogen has not disrupted the cycle. There is no way to be sure now." She glanced up at him, picking up on his unease. "This bothers you?"

He nuzzled his cheek against hers. "Only because I don't know what to expect. I don't want to hurt you."

Her hands came up to cup his cheeks, and she rested her forehead against his. "Men and women have been coming together far longer than we have. You will not hurt me."

Her assurance eased something in him and his fingers resumed their gentle massage. "And during Pon Farr?"

"I will explain what I can but it is far more likely you will be harmed. It is an...intense time. The mating usually lasts about a week, and starts with a kiss."

A grin that would have done Phlox proud crossed his face. "I can handle that, especially the kissing."

Her head tipped. "But first you must learn how."

"I didn't hear you complaining earlier."

"I was not. I was referring to a Vulcan kiss." All sorts of images went through his mind and T'Pol drew back, stunned. "Jonathan?"

He laughed, he couldn't help it. _Sharing thoughts is going to get me into a lot of trouble_. "Sorry Sweetheart, I couldn't help myself."

One brow rose, but the rebuke was softened by the glimmer of amusement in her eyes. "Indeed."

"Why don't you show me how Vulcans kiss?"

The brow stayed elevated, but her hand slid down his arm. "That would require you to remove a hand from its current activity." The glimpses of his T'Pol mixed with this new one were a wonder to him. Reluctantly he gave her his hand, taking the opportunity to entwine their fingers. "Release my hand Ashal-veh."

Releasing her hand he held it in the position she manipulated. "Ashal-veh? You've called me that twice now. What does it mean?"

She thought about a moment, pausing in what she was doing. "Beloved." Her hand moved over his, straightening the first two fingers and curving the others in. "This is how Vulcans kiss." Slowly, eyes locked on his, she slid two fingers over his extended ones, tracing the line of them over and under and back again. She opened her mind and allowed it to touch his, everything in that one contact.

Jonathan gasped. He had never imagined anything a Vulcan did could be as wonderful as a human kiss, but this expression was just as deep and intimate. He followed her lead, opening his mind and repeating the caress. _Touch, of course, so sensitive...I wonder if she's that sensitive everywhere..._

T'Pol shuddered at the erotic images that played in her mind at their touch. The heat was building inside her like nothing she had ever experienced. She had to be a part of him. Her breath caught and stuttered as he nodded. He leaned forward, kissing their fingers before breaking the contact. His hands slid up and under her top, and she rolled with him, allowing him to strip it from her. T'Pol wasn't one to sit still when she wanted something, so she encouraged him to sit up so she could remove his shirt as well.

Warm hands smoothed over his chest, tangling in the course hair. Her fingers kept smoothing through the springy curls as if the very texture fascinated her, which it did. Jonathan picked up on the thread of her thoughts and pulled her up to him so they both were kneeling on the bed. After drawing her hands around his neck, he brought her body flush with his, shifting her so the course hair scraped her delicate breasts. They peaked instantly and again she arched into him, the sensations overwhelming her. He lay her back and quickly removed her pajama bottoms, pausing to drink in the scent and sight of her before him.

His hands glided over slender legs and rounded thighs, tested the resilience of the firm belly before him, before moving on and up to tease her navel and then her breasts. Her body jerked as if shot when his hands closed gently over the supple mounds. The dark tips tempted him beyond measure and he lapped at them with his tongue. T'Pol's surprise entered his head and he smiled, cupping the flesh and flicking it with his tongue until she moaned. Her fingers tangled in his hair and she arched her back, offering him everything.

As content as he was to play with her breasts, there was more before him he wished to taste and learn. His hands and mouth mapped a journey across her body, searching every inch of her, from her pointed ears, to her toes. Each nibble and stroke, an endeavor to learn what pleased her, heightening his own pleasure. Several times she attempted to tug him to her, but he resisted, unwilling to abandon his pleasure, or hers. Finally he searched out that hidden nub between her thighs. With soft, tender strokes, he discovered what intensified her arousal, so that when he closed his mouth over her, she did not object, but encouraged him to continue, widening her thighs and sighing. Jonathan grinned as her body tightened around his fingers. He continued to lap and play, his fingers moving gently inside, gradually increasing the number of digits he used to help ready her for him.

As her climax approached for the third time, T'Pol cried out. Her fingers pulled desperately at his hair and she nearly sighed in relief as he moved up her body. Her hands slid over him, eager to learn his textures and sensitive points, but Jonathan caught them and pinned them to the pillow beside her head. _Not now Sweetheart. If you touch me now, I'll explode, and I want to be inside you the first time_.

The images that he shared stole her breath yet again and all she could do was moan in response. She wasn't sure she could stand to have him touch her there again. She was hypersensitive because of his caresses, so much so that it bordered on pain, a wonderful pleasure/pain to be sure, but still in excess.

Jonathan read her thoughts and smiled again, kissing her deeply as he shucked his trousers. "If I hurt you in any way tell me and I'll stop." He wasn't certain how, but he knew he would. She was too important to him.

She nodded, eyes widening as he settled between her legs. His arousal felt hot and hard against her, alien. She shivered as his sex brushed against her clit. The moment sharpened into focus and then he was pushing into her, slowly, steadily.

Though he had prepared her well, Jonathan could still feel her body's resistance. She was so tight around him that it took all his will power not to push home. He didn't want to hurt her and yet he wanted in. He began to ease back and forth, rocking against her, trying to complete their union an inch at a time.

T'Pol fought to keep from stiffening against him. While not painful, what he was doing was not exactly comfortable either. She bit her bottom lip, her hands sliding down his back, fingers gripping the muscles to keep from slipping in the sweat. Her eyes locked on his face, but his were closed in concentration. She could see his thoughts clearly, knew what he wanted and was trying to do. She took measures into her own hands and bucked against him, gasping as he filled her to the hilt.

Jonathan groaned as she closed around him. Clasping her tightly to him, he lay still, savoring the feel of her heat pulsing around him. Soft, tender kisses were scattered across her face, followed by sweet words of love. His mouth closed over hers, his hands smoothing along her arms to catch her own. Once more her drew them beside her head, his fingers tracing hers as his tongue coaxed hers out to play. As she relaxed under him, Jonathan began to move. It started as a slow, subtle dance, gradually increasing in pace as pressure and pleasure forced him on. His hands left hers briefly as he guided her legs around his waist, changing the point of contact and deepening his thrusts. As he neared his peak, he slid one hand between then, stroking the swollen bud and begging her to join him. He barely held out, but as her body convulsed around his, he cried out her name, joining her in release.

He wanted nothing more than to stay just as he was, his spent body still joined with hers, but he didn't want to crush her. Even as he lay there he could tell the difference in her breathing. Rolling to his back, he carried her with him, frowning slightly as the move separated them. He held her for a long time, stroking her hair and back, while she sprawled across him. His lips grazed the top of her head. "I love you, T'Pol."

She nuzzled her face in his throat. "You hold my heart as well Ashal-veh."

"Is it the same for both men and women...your term for beloved?"

"Yes."

"Ah," His hands stroked further down her back, cupping her bottom once more. As she wiggled against him, he felt himself begin to stir.

_Again Jonathan?_ Her eyes widened as she sat up.

His fingers trailed over her sex. _Are you too sore?_ She shook her head, unable to speak as his fingers dipped into her _._ He smiled and adjusted her so she straddled him. _Then I would like very much to make love to you Ashal-veh...again._

T'Pol took him easily this time. The position brought him deeper inside her and she was uncertain how to move. Jonathan showed her what to do by guiding her with his hands and his mind. _You have control here Love. You control the pace, the depth, the action._ Her initial movements were stiff and uncertain, but she soon caught the jist of it. She allowed her legs to do all the work as she rode him, occasionally rocking to increase the intensity of the feelings rolling through her. She savored the texture of his skin beneath her hands and mewled in pleasure as his own flowed over her. She didn't think to object when his hands dug into her hips and increased the pace, his hard body bucking under her. Groaning aloud, she froze as her climax swept through her, collapsing on his chest as the wave ended.

Jonathan wasted no time rolling her to her back as he took control. She clung to him like a limpet as he thrust into her twice more, his body spasming as if it were the first time.

Again he held her for several moments, placing soft kisses and caresses on every part of her he could reach. His goal was not to arouse, but cherish, and he intended to enjoy every minute of it. Sleep was pulling them both in, but he was reluctant to let go. As T'Pol shifted under him, he kissed her again and rose from the bed. Slipping into the bathroom, he attended to personal needs and cleaned up. Carrying a washcloth out to her, he marveled at the sight of her sprawled before him in sleepy contentment. He was tempted for a moment to pinch himself, certain this was a dream, but he didn't want to wake up. Carefully, so not to disturb her too much, he bathed her thighs and vaginal area so she would be more comfortable. Once finished, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the silky skin of her mons before carrying the cloth back into the bathroom. That chore done, he came back to the bed and curled around her, drawing up the blankets and helping her get comfortable. Even sleep seemed better with her beside him.

Morning brought with it groggy awareness. Jonathan stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out where he was. He rolled to the edge of the bed. His nudity and the smell of sex brought him to attention instantly and the night before crashed down on him. He jumped to his feet as he noticed T'Pol was nowhere in sight. Panic flared to life and he called out desperately with his mind, _T'Pol!_

The response was immediate and soothing _. I am here Ashal-veh. I needed a shower._ The emotional creature of the night before seemed to be gone, replace by the calm, centered woman he knew. Her words, however, were reassuring. A brief image of her in the shower entered his mind and he watched as her soapy hands tracked over wet skin. _Perhaps you should join me Jonathan. We have plenty of time before our shift starts._

He laughed out loud at the shear joy of it and darted into the bathroom. As he took over the task of soaping her down, he wondered briefly if the walls were soundproof.


End file.
